It's In The Mail
by Star24
Summary: A short response to a fic challenge. Some humor and some crime solving, in the NCIS way.


**It's In the Mail  by Star24©2004**

**_Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't profit from them, but I had an urge to play with them.  _**

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**_This is in response to a challenge posted on the _****_Special_********_Ops_********_Center_****_ Message board._**

**~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ **

"I've never seen a sample that big," Abby quipped.

Kate hesitated outside the lab as she heard Tony reply.

"I don't do things halfway, Abbs."

Abby laughed, "No, you sure don't."

"So what do you think? Does it turn you on?" Tony's voice was husky with innuendo.

Kate turned to leave, not wanting the two of them to think she'd been eavesdropping on what sounded like an intimate conversation, only to run into Gibbs.

"Did you get the test equipment I sent you for?" There was a tinge of impatience in his voice. 

"Oh...um...no...uh, Abby seems to be..." Kate floundered, even as Gibbs pushed past her and walked into the lab, "...busy," she finished.

"Tony, I hate to break it to you but it's a bit too big, even for me." Abby's laughing voice carried past Gibbs as Kate followed him into the lab.

Gibbs moved to the side and Kate spotted Tony leaning over Abby's shoulders, his arms forming a cage around her as the two looked at something on her desk. 

"Hey, guys." Tony looked up and grinned at them. To Kate's surprise he didn't seem at all bothered to be found in such a familiar position with Abby.

"Dinozzo, don't you have things to do besides bothering Abby with your decorating dilemma's...such as work?"  Gibbs snapped.

"Decorating?" Kate echoed.

"When they painted my apartment the painters ruined my sofa. The landlord's springing for a new one, and I was asking Abby for her opinion of the fabric sample." Tony's eyes twinkled as he looked at Kate. "What do you think of this one? Does it make you wanna get comfortable?" He winked as he handed her a large square of fabric.  Gibbs shot him a look.

"I need that new field DNA test kit." Gibbs addressed Abby directly. "Since Agents Todd and Dinozzo seem not to comprehend the meaning of now, I'll take it myself."

Abby pulled a black box from the shelves on the wall. "Here it is. Do you know how..."

Gibbs was already out the door of the lab.

"...to use it?" Guess you do," she finished. She shrugged and looked at Kate and Tony.

"So, Kate?" Tony asked her, "What do you think?"

"What?" Kate looked at him.

"The fabric. Is it sexy?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm outa here." She handed the fabric back to Tony.

Tony smiled as he watched her leave. "I think she liked it, Abbs. Did you notice how she was rubbing it between her fingers? Nothing like the right fabric to help the mood."

Abby laughed as Tony grinned at her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ~

"So what exactly are we doing here, again, Boss?" Tony asked Gibbs as they arrived at the scene of their current investigation. "We've already swept this place thoroughly once, and come up with nada."

"I want to give this thing a run through." Gibbs said holding the experimental equipment Abby had given to him earlier.

"It's pretty clear that the husband had to be the one who killed her." Kate interjected. "Classic scenario. He's in Iraq for eighteen months, she gets bored and finds a boyfriend; he comes home and finds out, and kills her in a jealous rage. He fits the profile."

"Personally, I think it was the postman." Tony said.

Kate and Gibbs both looked at him askance.

"Didn't you ever see that old movie? The one where the wife and the postman are getting it on and they kill the husband?"

"Tony, I'm impressed. I didn't think you knew movies existed before 1980." Kate said.

"Huh? I'm talking about the one made in the 80's, With Jessica Lange." Tony said looking puzzled.

"Which was a remake of an old movie from the 40's." Kate said.

"Why would you think it's the mailman based on that movie, Dinozzo?" Gibbs questioned him. "Unlike the movie, it was the wife who was killed in this case, not the husband."

Tony shrugged, "I was just extrapolating."

"Ooh, big word, Tony." Kate teased, earning a look from him.

"I want everything that could possibly have been touched by a boyfriend run through this. The unmatched DNA Ducky found on her is bothering me. Something's hinky here." Gibbs said to them. 

Several fruitless hours later, they took a break. 

"Why don't you think it's the husband, Gibbs?" Kate asked again. 

"My gut is bothering me, that's why. If we can't turn up one phone call or credit card slip, or one eyewitness that saw her with another man, how did the husband find out within hours of arriving home? He swears he had no clue and I believe him. Not to mention, the time frame is just too tight. Only in a perfect world would he have been able to get here, kill her, and get back to base in the time available to him."

Just then there was the sound of mail being pushed through the slot in the door. Kate's eyes met Tony's.

"Oh no," she said. 

"Why not? Boss?" Tony was already picking up several envelopes from the floor.

Gibbs shrugged, "Why not? Nothing else has worked."

Kate turned to look for other items to test and swung back only when the machine began to beep. Tony grinned triumphantly

Gibbs read from the tape that printed out of the machine, "It's a match. Get him, Tony."

Tony was already out the door, gun in hand.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

That afternoon Tony lounged at his desk as Gibbs filled them in on the mailman's confession.

"…no one noticed him coming every day, because after all, who pays attention to the mailman?  He and the wife were hot and heavy for a few months but when Sgt. Calvin was on his way home, she told him they were through. He lost it and strangled her in a jealous rage. He was smart enough to take the scarf he used and burn it along with the used bedclothes. He never thought we'd check the mail. I guess he never saw that movie, Dinozzo."

Kate met Tony's knowing look head on, and nodded in reluctant acknowledgement.

"I told you the mailman did it." Tony responded.

Finis


End file.
